Fun Fact Friday

I am a self proclaimed Groupon fan.  Every day I discover ways to whiten my teeth, relax my tense deltoids with an hour long massage and remove unsightly hair.  Realistically, I just buy deals for new restaurants and mini adventures in Chicago.

Through the years though, I screwed up.  I bought Groupons that went to waste as the expiration date ticked closer then passed.  Money down the drain! (noooooo.)

Then today, per a recommendation from a friend, I called Groupon's customer service department.  From what I can tell it is a young, fun group of people who probably don't love being on the phone but do a pretty good job of pretending they don't mind.  I spoke with a bubbly girl and explained that "I'm an idiot whom allows perfectly good Groupons to expire."  From here I earned one of two options:

1.) Use that Groupon as cash at the business
2.) Refund the amount back to my Groupon account to be used on a future Groupon purchase

Already stated, I am a Groupon fiend and excitedly opted for option number two.  Now I possess $73 to spend on a future purchase I may or may not need.

Lesson learned, your money is not lost.  Ask the question and you shall receive.  I feel as rich as Scrooge McDuck right now, swimming in intangible Groupon credits.

Cross-Town Cup Sponsored by Nobody Cares

Earlier this week, management from the Chicago Cubs and White Sox got together with some chief marketing executives to make a ground-breaking decision.

The teams, both currently under .500 for the season and continuing skids into mediocrity, will now play each other for a completely irrelevant title that is the Crosstown Cup sponsored by BP.  In case you live under a rock BP, or British Petroleum plc, is the possessor of an oil well that as I type this is spilling thousands of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

Imaginary British Petroleum exeuctive: "oh hey guys, hey.  I know our errors are currently hindering the daily lives of people in the gulf states and causing major environmental trauma that hasn't be seen since the Exxon Valdez but we sure know how to sponsor irrelevant competitions in the Midwest."  My God!

According to ChicagoBreakingNews.com, "the three-foot tall Cup supposedly is in production, but will be ready before the Cubs and Sox meet for the first time June 11-13 at Wrigley Field."  Oh goody.  This rivalry doesn't impact me (I mean I could care less, I'm just a Chicago transplant) but for the love of marketing!  How do companies keep scoring deals to sponsor something that never existed in the first place?  Especially while little oil-covered duckies in the Gulf are being sudsed up with Dawn.

Just when I thought this scenario would damper my day I saw this adorable video.  Even though I find twins slightly creepy (think "The Shining") this made me go, "awwwww."  At least there are two people who can get it right, the Sox fan is slightly violent and the Cubs fan is the first to open her mouth and be obnoxious.  Perfect!

Happy Friday.

Life Tilt.

My dear boyfriend recently received an e-mail that, after ten years of waiting, notified him that he was in a position to purchase season tickets for the underachieving Chicago Cubs organization.  I have consoled this individual multiple times in the last few years as Chi-town's lovable losers crushed his dreams.  His response back to the ticket office is below.  Please note that, typically, his grammar is awful and his misspellings are blatant and numerous.  Somehow through his fury he was able to conjure the letter below.

Enjoy.

Hello MELISSA,

WOW!  This may be the best day in my life...NOT.  I wipe my $^& with $4058.88 and I WILL NEVER EVER BUY A TICKET FROM THE CUBS EVER AGAIN.  They break my heart every year and run their team and organization like a pile of #&@*.  I wish I could cuss at you but I am a striving real estate mogul and that could hurt my rep.  Let Mr. Ricketts know I am coming after his greedy $*# and if we don’t win a world series under his ownership his #*$ is on the line.  Yeah its fun drinking with friends and heckling SORRYANOS sorry LAZY @#! out there but that has nothing to do with this.  The CUBS are the worst sports organization ever...if you do not agree please let me know when the last time they won the entire freckin thing and provide a valid argument.

I do however love the Cubs and will live and die with them my entire life because just like Herpes it comes back at least once a year and freckin stings you (I wouldn’t really know but I took health class) and you can’t get it out of your system no matter what.  This blows man.

In conclusion the CUBS can suck it if they think I am giving them money.  I will however most likely attend 20-30 games this year, pay $10 for a ticket off some homeless bum that lives at the FRECKIN FRIENDLY CONFINES (friendly for all other teams) and drinks lots of beer just so the Cubs can overpay for players who blow nut sack.  Please forward this to Mr. Ricketts as I am sure you will.  If he wants to have lunch I will buy him a $5 foot long on Addison have him call my assistant at 866-436-5713 (CALL NOW).  I charge $450 an hour for my time but I will give him a discount of 10% because I am a nice dude.  He would be lucky to do business with me.  If Mr. Rickets is interested in self storage facilities let me know cause I got a couple I could sell to him.  I heard he over pays for underperforming businesses and makes terrible investments.

For the record I am a die-hard Cubs fan and will love them forever.  Just wanted to pass along my deepest thoughts. 

P.S.  I am looking forward to hearing from Mr. Ricketts

The ticket office's simple response is below

 Dear Mr. Cavell,

I am sorry to hear that you are no longer interested in season tickets.  Per your request email, I will remove you from the waiting list.  Thank you for your time.

 Sincerely,

 Melissa Trinidad

Humanity in Haiti

I learned about the 7.0 magnitude quake in Haiti from the oddest of sources yesterday.  At around 4 p.m. yesterday I read this tweet on Rainn Wilson's twitter.  Yes, I learned about the first global natural disaster of the decade from The Office's Dwight.  Only minutes before Rainn's tweet, CNN Breaking News had just posted this.  The CNN.com story at that time was simplistic, "A 7.3 earthquake.  Little to no communication available.  No reported causalities."  That was then.  Now, hundreds of thousands people are displaced and the death toll is rapidly rising.  The poorest country in the western hemisphere is now at the center of the world.

Social media gives way to millions of global voices.  Just like I learned about this catastrophe through Rainn Wilson, aide is being spread through 140 characters or less.  In less than a few minutes I discovered a missing person's list where people are messaging about missing loved ones.  The official Twitter White House page released a far reaching cry for help this morning as well as links to Red Cross recovery.  Please follow that link for information or text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross relief for Haiti.  (This is taken care of through your phone provider.)  NPR has also compiled a continually updated list of ways to help.

It's apparent that social media, like so many major events of the past few years, is on the forefront of civilian assistance.  So text, donate, tweet, whatever.  It has never been easier to help.