More Christmas gift ideas

I am nearly finished with my Christmas shopping, thanks to my Amazon.com shopping spree yesterday.  Nothing is better than seeing a flat rate of $XXX on my bank statement!

If you're a slacker, I have some last minute options for you.  Thanks to AsOnTVInfomercials.com for inspiration and ideas.

1 - The Necky.  It's like a Dickie but outside your sweater!  Do you have a total moron in your family that has difficulty wearing a scarf?  (Quite possibility, the same relative living on government assistance?)  We have a match.  Plus, the Necky is available in three colors: navy blue, charcoal gray, and designer leopard.  Please somebody tell me when designer leopard became a "color."



2 - The Chia Obama for the Dem in the family.  Let's be honest, everyone knows about this (but I loved it anyway) so I only have three words.  Yes, we can.

3 - The Bedazzler.  Timeless but now culturally relevant thanks to MTV's newest disaster of humanity, "Jersey Shore."  Consumer spending is down for Holiday 2009 and many of us do not have the time or resources to walk into an Ed Hardy store and drop 200 bucks on a blinged out hoodie.  (Or we don't want to because we're not an asshole.)  If your family member or friend's biggest wish this winter is to look like a total guido/guidette/jerkface then get creative and bedazzle a black button up or sports bra for them!  They will love you.  Then they will drink too much, vomit on themselves and attempt to fight someone on the sidewalk at 2:45 a.m.

"Easy, fun & fabulous!  Snap, push & pop!"

Does your cat make TOO much NOI-se?!

Only a week until Thanksgiving. Naturally, that means the Christmas season started over two weeks ago. Next week I am going to my parents' for the turkey day holidays. My agenda generally consists of being a glutton and sitting on the couch all day abusing their DV-R. Twice a day I will likely walk my seven-year-old pup, Cher (we adopted her from a shelter and unfortunately her name stuck). Occasionally, I will shuffle off the couch solely to chase down Gary the cat. Gary, named after Spongebob's snail, is a glorious 14 pound snow shoe Siamese with a bit of an eating problem. Although he is my cat, he is proof that a guy should never buy a girl an animal unless he plans to raise the animal in question. For this reason he was adopted by Grandma. However, because he is my cat I have no problem chasing, squeezing and hugging him until he squeals for mercy.

I love my animals so much that I have already started their Christmas shopping. I will let you be the judge of how serious I am about these.

For Cher, the pup, I present you the dog snuggie. Snuggie, you've gone way too far. Particularly on the snuggie for dogs web site where you will notice the dogs are playing BACKGAMMON.


One of my favorite shows. Charlie presents kitten mittens!