Everything we do, we do it big. G-Unit Style.

The second edition of my weekly softball e-mail.

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Hey G-Unit,

Tuesday night's rematch against estrogen fueled  rival, Booty Pants, translated into another W for SMG-Unit.  With a motivating pep talk by returning fearless leader, Scott, and the encouraging screams of "LET'S DO THIS" from John, the G-Unit took the lead early and held on throughout the game.  After the dust cleared, we emerged the winners in a 9-4 victory.  Fortunately for everyone (except this beat writer's willingness to embarrass you publicly) the night went rather smoothly.  There was little confrontation, our umpire was sober and capable, and there weren't any controversial plays that led to us losing our shit on the field.  Props to the team for hitting a number of line drives, keeping up the stellar defense, and overall proper softball mechanics.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkRVTBsl1zk)  Big things happen.

Big thanks to Alycia and Nikki, G-Unit's Tuesday night best-dressed cheerleaders, for keeping the beer cold and cheering us on to a win.  Also, for presenting the methodology behind "food naming" and "Biggie Smalls."  http://tomhaverfoods.com/

After the game, we headed to Bar Louie for celebratory $1 burger night (tots & fries are $3 extra - you've been warned).  The patio was going fantastic and the night air crisp until dark clouds began to roll across the skyline.  Proud and unafraid, G-Unit drank its draft specials and stared the storm in the eye (it was kind of like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_pN312Te98).  That lasted all of 10 minutes before we headed inside for shelter.  (It was exactly like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYg-LtUxhcE).

After Bar Louie we parted ways, but only after Stevewas groped and prodded by a 20-year-old wearing striped J. Crew shorts and boat shoes.  According some whacked out Trib survey based on creeptastic Craigslist Missed Connections, the Red Line is the most romantic of all train lines.  Steve proves it's true.  (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-09-30/news/ct-talk-romantic-trains-1001-20100930_1_romantic-train-brown-and-purple-lines-cta-s-red)

Reminder, we have next week off for the All-Star game.  Everyone enjoy your July 4th weekend!

Keepin' it real with the whole sha-bang-a-Bang (one bang),
Dot