Seagulls stole mah pancakes!

The other day I found myself explaining why I listen to country music. Truth is, when I lived in St. Louis, I found myself growing irritable about underdeveloped urban culture and angry music. In response I rolled down the windows to my car and blasted 93.7 The Bull.  Happy!  Yeehaw!

Years later, I still find it unreal how much bad music exists.  I'm not talking just talking about "Friday," the train wreck of this week.  Its verse "Gotta have my bowl! Gotta have cereal!" lead me into another piece of lyrical junk centering around breakfast foods.  Gucci Mane's new single, "Pancakes."

My brother is the Arts & Entertainment editor for his university's newspaper and is currently reviewing Gucci Mane's new album, which dropped today.  If you haven't seen this 'hood freak show, he has a face tattoo of an ice cream cone.  Totally normal.  Ryan shared some of his findings with me, leading to this photoshop filled rant.

Gucci Mane, go vroooooom!

In the spirit of "art" let me share some beautiful lyrics with you...which only come after my reaction below.

me:  BAHAHAHAHAH

dirty.

birds.

seagulls?

really.

seagulls?

Ryan:  hell yeah

 me:  I am speechless.

 Ryan: likewise... It's just that incredible

 me:  I am vomiting

Pattycake!

Pattycake!

I hope around with pancakes!

I touch down with hashbrowns!

Syrup in my...

Oh, who cares.  Cracker Barrel, take note.  I see marketing opportunities abound.  As a former Crack House employee, I'm fo' realz.