Did you hear about the Lebron bobble heads...

...they had to be recalled because the heads were too big.

I admit, I wanted Lebron in Chicago.  I wanted to relive the glorified days of Chicago basketball between 1991 and 1998, minus the baseball years.  I remember wearing my black, number 23 jersey to intramural basketball practice and stopping "little girl" sleepovers to watch Playoff games in my friend Rita's living room.  Every boy I knew had basketball themed birthday parties and some girls did too.  Jordan built an empire with a whitey like Steve Kerr, a total hood rat in Scottie Pippen, a cross dresser with Dennis Rodman, and a smoking Croatian with Toni Kukoc.  My GOD, Chicago was IT.  I have full intentions of how the intro to my wedding reception will play out.  "From SAINT [pause] Louis University...THEERRRRREEEESSSAAAAAA [insert last name here]!!!"

Instead, Lebron needs two other All Stars to accomplish his "goals" and "what will make him happy."  Whatever.  After watching over two hours of his giant head spit out emotionless, rehearsed speeches I don't really care.  ESPN [which I have an extreme love-hate relationship with and that's a topic for another day] took every chance it could to elevate the situation including obnoxious epic voiceovers similar to blockbuster trailers.

There were even ads for DECISION WATER by Vitamin Water, like f off Coca-Cola.

I feel bad for Cleveland which, from what I can piece together, sucks.  (Cleveland Tourism Video, Attempt 2: Our Economy's Based on Lebron James!).  Do I understand why he left?  Totally.  I think it's wrong that he didn't sit down and speak to majority owners with a simple, "I am not intending to stay in Cleveland."  After seven years it's like telling your significant other "it's not you, it's me" except it's in front of millions of people and nationally televised.  The ultimate break up.  So much so that majority owner even wrote the entire city of Cleveland, and indirectly Lebron as well, a psycho ex-girlfriend letter.

To be honest, I am simply tiring of living in a city where I am completely apathetic about how the sports' seasons end.  Sigh.