I ask myself, why am I writing about the Florida Marlins?

I remember watching the Marlins win the World Series in 1997.  Edgar Renteria had the game winning hit and would later go on to play for my beloved Cardinals, where even the St. Louis fans never forgot this heroic feat.  Renteria was also a shortstop so, naturally, he was one of my favorite players.

Now the only Marlin I could really tell you about is Dan Uggla.  His three errors in the 2008 All-Star game put a black mark on his career but, considering Marlins fans don't even go to regular season games, they are probably pretty apathetic to that whole situation.  Fortunately for me, Uggla's confidence isn't wavering considering that last season he insulted my boyfriend's hair and told me if I ever wanted to get with a real man to give him a call.  (To be fair Casey totally deserved it and it was funny to watch him get owned by a man with a tiny, tiny head.)

The team is building a new stadium and, upon completion, will be known as the Miami Marlins.  This is great news as people in Florida will finally learn where the team plays. 

BUT first, in even bigger news, the Marlins present us with something that makes my head want to explode off of my neck.  No exaggeration.  Scott Stapp, the lead singer of the worst band in the universe (a.k.a. Creed) released a song for the 2010 season, "Marlins Will Soar."  Get OFF the "Higher," references Scott because America has a whole hates that song.  Everyone except the Marlins' management.  Below is the video that, as if you needed another reason, will keep you away from the entire state of Florida through September when the season is irrelevant.

See more funny videos and Sports Videos at Today's Big Thing.

The only reason this actually concerns me, and I swear there is a reason, is that Matt Holliday (another Cardinal on his way to greatness) recently had an unbelievable amount of backlash for this tweet: "Big fan of the new creed album, helps me get through long bike workout."  His defensive reaction, as Matt Holliday A's, Rockies and Cardinals jerseys burned across the country is below.  I look forward to having him sign my 1999 Human Clay album (kidding, I didn't own that crap).

Now that I type all this, I really don't know why I'm sharing it with you.  I'm so sorry.