SMG-Unit is Movin' on Up in the Playoffs!

Dearest SMG-unit,

Tuesday night SMG-Unit and its small army stuck it to Sparkle.  Again.  For the third time.  Seriously, did we play anyone else this season?  Carry on.  The score was 13 or 14 or 15 against two.  I've asked around and nobody knows for sure so whatever.  A lot to a little.  Winners!

Injuries were abound Tuesday night.  Early on, Meganwas duped by her CTA card and went ricocheting off the turn style en route to a southbound red line train.  She recovered nicely and trekked on to the game.  Once the game began, an elementary mistake was made by an opponent on the Sparkle side.  OMG, NEVER EVER EVER THROW YOUR BAT.  There was a brief delay of game as catcher Theresa "Dot" Voyles (not sure how to refer to myself here) knelt on the ground and said cuss words while her right shin swelled.  It was a mere flesh wound (or deep pulsing bruise?) that required a later icing from a bag of frozen California vegetable medley.

Jason pitched five shut out innings of spectacular slow pitch, blowing the ball by hitters and shutting down Spark.  John came in for some relief work and gave up only two runs (Ryan Franklin 2011 style).  Although Jason was initially upset by this turn of events, Durbin and the defense held on in the sixth and seventh.

13/14/15 runs scored in a game obviously means big hits.  Special props to the ladies of G-Unit, especially Brittany and Nikki, with some solid pieces of hitting that allowed us to take a commanding lead in the late innings.  As the third baseman from Spark was quoted saying, "mother f@&%er.  Your girls have had more hits this game than our team has all season."  Rock on.  Claude also, once again, had claim to an easy out homerun® that put a few on the board.   Jason continued the spree with a triple-like hit that caused the bench to scream "STOP!" then "PLEASE STOP!" and finally ended with third base coach, Collin, tackling Jason to stop his determined sprint.  Something like that.  Steve a.k.a. "Turtle" continued the trend of refusing to stop at third base (started by Jason and an overrun by Scott) and made the bench a little nervous.   Typically, "OH SHIT!" is not yelled on the base path between third and home but because he scored, we will let it go.

One of the best moments of the game came when Megan was tossed (we wish) from the game after making a web gem play at first, only to be refused the call by the ump.  "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?! C'MON" and some other words were exchanged as she charged home.  (It was kind of like this.)  There must be something in the water on the search floor.  Oddly enough, Jeff "Yanks" kept it quiet on the other side of the diamond.  When we questioned his lack of verbal back up, he replied "every time I do that you guys get mad at me."  Yanks then came back to normalcy by completing a double play to end the game, sprinting off the field and up the hill, and declaring "fuck class!"  Yes, we are G-Unit and class is overrated.

We followed up with an after party at Bar Louie highlighted by chewy $1 burgers and watching the National League win its second All-Star Game in a row.  Take that, AL!  (To anyone that does not know - the AL has won seven of the last two years...that extra was a tie.)  Overrated fact.

The playoffs continue in another lifetime on Saturday, August 20th.  Scott added a Lotus invite but please keep it on your mind.  We may be practicing in between this time so keep those arms warm and stretch those hammies.  Updates to come!

Deuces!
Dot

This e-mail was brought to you by the letter T for Theresa, [hangin'] tough, and a tumor.  It's not a toomah!