"Droid."

Last week my life changed with the arrival of my first Smartphone, a DroidX.  The touch screen, the 8.0 MP camera, the useless apps.  Swoon.  After a couple years of being behind the curve I am now beyond it, at least for a month until something new arrives.  Of course, once I went to make a phone call I was completely stumped.

My grandparents had a rotary phone.  It was tan, nailed on the wall by their bedroom and the noises it made were so distinct that I could pinpoint them to this day.  It took approximately 38 seconds to make a phone call, 54 for long-distance with adjunct area code.  In fifty four seconds I could probably search for the stupid app called "Zombie, Run!" that uses your GPS location to place fake zombies in your otherwise safe walk home.  I'm not saying that I would throw the defenseless Droid in the Chicago River and snatch up a rotary, but I believe there is a happy balance between these two scenarios.

I am still waiting for my life to really change.  True, I was able to check show times for "The Town," search for the next available bus, and check sports scores back-to-back while loving it the entire time.  However, I did receive a swift punch in the gut for yelling, "I can get an app for that!" one too many times.  Until the Droid turns into an umbrella (no umbrella app) or teaches a boy to hang up the FreakingTowelOhMyGodIt'sNotThatHard then I'll just keep living my life normally, with a little computer in my pocket.